Confidential to my friends at Victory Gardens Theater:
If you bought the Biograph because somebody famous was gunned down outside it -- a selling point if I ever heard one -- there's an upcoming Discovery Channel special that may convince you to ask for your money back.
(If you bought it in order to renovate and restore the Biograph to a state-of-the-art home for the creation of new American plays, then never mind.)
« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »
30 December 2005
Lining up to get your schnitzels on one last time
I don't typically walk past the Berghoff in the early evenings, so I don't know how much business they'd typically be doing on a Thursday night, but I'd venture to guess that yesterday's dual front page coverage might have something to do with the lines outside last night.
Meanwhile, continuing Logopolis coverage of all of Chicago's finest traditional restaurants (the Berghoff and McDonald's just about covers it, don't you think?), a Tribune editorial this morning reminds me of the pub's historical importance and informs that "heartier Dortmunder-style beer" will still be available as the bar won't be closing.
29 December 2005
Adventures in McDonaldland
I don't want to encourage fast food restaurants to start placing tip jars next the registers, but I wish there was a more direct way of saying hats off to the young lady at the register who made sure I got a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit even though they were switching the signs from breakfast to lunch as I walked in the door. She went to the back and made sure they made it. It's perhaps a sad state of affairs when going just a bit beyond the call of duty feels so epic. But it made my stomach's morning.
Speaking of the cruel glow of the Golden Arches, I've been thinking a lot about the sad life of the Hamburglar today. He's some sort of sub-literate (robble, robble, robble...) Micky D's.addict. Sure, he's got a definite fashion sense -- the patterned tie with the stripes is daring and the cape is wicked fey -- Ian McKellan would certainly play him in the live action McDonaldland film. But where did he come from? And why can't he speak? And what kind of prick is Ronald McDonald? He gets this robble-robble Nell hooked on his product and then faster than you can say "chicka, chicka, chickamcnuggets" he denies him his fix. Billions and biliions served, but at what cost, clown, at what cost!
28 December 2005
Sacre bleu! Or whatever is German for “sacre bleu”!
(Headline joke stolen from, and information provided by, Allen)
Berghoff Restaurant shutting its doors
Owner Herman Berghoff, 70, and his wife, Jan, 68, want to retire, according to a restaurant spokesman. After the restaurant at 17 W. Adams St. closes on February 28, the space will be occupied by the couple’s daughter, who runs a local catering business called Artistic Events by Carlyn Berghoff Catering Inc.
Perhaps I'm just annoyed at another Chicago landmark closing its doors downtown and fear this is a continuation of the Marshall-Fields-to-Macy's transformation/slide from an interesting downtown to Schaumburg with taller buildings, so pardon me if this is too bitchy, but this quote from the press release reminds me of that joke where Tori Spelling talks about how she auditioned for 90210 under an assumed name --"Vicki Spelling":
"We’re proud that our daughter has achieved success outside of the family business.”
For all I know, Carlyn Berghoff may be a better caterer than Kate, Allie, and Edna Garrett combined -- but opening a company in the food services using the same family name as the famous restaurant is not exactly striking out there on your own.
Continue reading "Sacre bleu! Or whatever is German for “sacre bleu”!" »
Time to make the doughnuts...in heaven
Michael Vale, the character actor who starred in more than 100 Dunkin' Donuts commercials as the early-rising "Fred the baker" and joked that he got paid in doughnuts, has died. He was 83.
Mine seemed to have extra sprinkles today. I thought it was because they were trying to get rid of the leftover red and green post-Xmas. Perhaps it was a tribute.See his offensive-to-some, hilarious-to-me-when-I-was-ten comedic work in action here. For years, within the young McNamara clan, the universal symbol for dressing up as a woman was to hold your finger over your lip, even if you were even less likely to have facial hair then than you are now (which is still not likely)
23 December 2005
Big Brother is watching, might be reading
Oakland Tribune's doubleplusgood Op-Ed suggestion
Turns out the truth is no stranger than fiction. We think it's time for Congress to heed the warning of George Orwell. To that end, we're asking for your help: Mail us or drop off your tattered copies of "1984." When we get 537 of them, we'll send them to every member of the House of Representatives and Senate and to President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.
Turns out the truth is no stranger than fiction. We think it's time for Congress to heed the warning of George Orwell. To that end, we're asking for your help: Mail us or drop off your tattered copies of "1984." When we get 537 of them, we'll send them to every member of the House of Representatives and Senate and to President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.
This, of course, only works if we believe they can all can read chapter books.
21 December 2005
Helpful Hint for a Happy Homo Hung Up Holiday
Everybody's got an Uncle Bruce -- that one gay acquaintance who may not be your actual uncle ("They never are dear.") but is beloved nonetheless, despite -- and perhaps because of -- his quintessential queerness. And I don't mean Queer with an academic capital q. I mean queer with a capital $. He subscribes to Out AND the Advocate. He actually uses the Pink Pages for finding things other than an understanding attorney, physician, or tanning salon. He's a shareholder of PlanetOut - where he lists "Being Gay" as a hobby. He's Focus on the Family's worst nightmare and a marketer's wet dream.
Strangely though, trapped in his gay ghettoized view of the world, he's been out of touch style-wise for years. He just took down those Patrick Nagel prints he stole after he got fired from the Regis nearly two decades ago, and he only did that to make room for his ever-expanding black and white male nudes collection that would rival a Bruce Weber career retrospective sponsored by Abercrombie and Fitch.
Therefore, Christmas shopping for Uncle Bruce can be difficult. You want him to unwrap something he'll like but also want to give him something to which you're not ashamed to attach your tag. The naked French rugby player book is out because he's out of coffee table space. (Uncle Bruce never has bookshelves. Or typically books with words.) What's a Secret Santa to do?
As is often the case, the Material Girl provides a way to spend your cash and satisfy the gay you love.
Madonna launches wine range In the words of Kevin Costner: Neat
Wines include a Barbera, a Cabernet Sauvignon, a Pinot Grigio, and a "de-alcoholized" red table wine that the distributor, Celebrity Cellars, calls UnWine. Though not savvy enough to avoid using and trademarking the term "UnWine", Celebrity Cellars is wise enough to avoid the slogan "UnWine -- all of the headache with none of the drunkenness!"
The marketing does amuse however, with the copy "Finally there is a collectible as complex and sophisticated as the artist herself". Snarf snarf snarf. I imagine even she has to roll her lazy eye at that one. Of course, she does so as she teaches Rocco math counting her money aloud in her dulcet faux British accent, so whose remarkably toned ass is having the last laugh?
Madonna orders won't be shipped until January 12, 2006, so you won't be able to get a bottle for under Uncle Bruce's pink-lighted tree this Christmas. But write him a note in a Hot Santa Christmas Card telling him his gift is on the way and everybody wins.
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