Logopolis

The Most Obvious Logopolis-Themed Entry to Bea Arthur Tribute Week

Seriously, if you didn't expect this, you don't know me very well.

Can you imagine a time sans Internet when things like this would have had a horrifingly limited audience these days? I can, and it's a f'ing nightmare

In case you want to see the minutes of the special leading up to this clip, here's more (which is worth it for it's addition of Harvey Korman and some fantastic "romantic" dialogue...and oh yeah, Bea pouring a drink in his head):

There's something really interesting about the fact that life under the Empire in this TV special sounds like stereotypical Communist Russia. I guess, it's not that surprising -- as that would be easy pop culture shorthand for portraying an "evil empire." But this isn't something that shows up in the movies, of course. (Also, if you're really paying attention, you might wonder why Princess Leia's voice is being used as the narrator in the propaganda broadcast? Was she forced? Or was it just an imitator? These are the things I wonder about, and probably what George Lucas is hoping I'm focusing on.)

Specter Switches Party, Murders Somebody

So everybody who doesn't have anything better to do with their day has been blogging about how it's a huge deal that the Pennsylvania senator has left the Republicans behind (even though he just did it because he was probably going to lose Leiberman-style to a primary challenger)
, but what none oif the many, many, many many articles has asked is this:

Who cares what party he belongs to?  I'm not going to ignore the fact that he murdered a woman, no matter how many hit records he produced.

Oh, um....what?  Oh, sorry, my mistake.

Bea Arthur Tribute Week Continues

Part 3 is the best part, but if you've got the time watch Part 1 and 2.

Part 1

Part 2

Repeat After Me -- I will not freak out about swine flu.

I will not freak out about swine flu.
I will not freak out about swine flu.
I will not freak out about swine flu.
I will not freak out about swine flu.
I will not freak out about swine flu.

View H1N1 Swine Flu in a larger map

Still though, it looks a little close on this map. And I did ask PunkAndy to pick up extra groceries in case we need to barricade ourselves in our apartment.  And I do have extra antibiotics that I ordered online a long time ago (for something far more embarassing that will go unnamed)  And if there is an occurence in Chicago, I will not leave the house. But other than that, I'm totally not going to freak out.

(Even this, though, can be held up as an example of how Republicans suck and are stupid.)

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I Hate Sherri and Terri

Seriously, they're such little bitches sometimes.

Bea Arthur Tribute Week

I'm almost embarrassed and definitely surprised how sad the death of Bea Arthur has made me. I never met her (because that story would be here, obviously) but I loved her like I had. And I guess that's why I'm saddened by her (and many other) celebrity deaths; I never had the chance to gush in front of them.

You'll be seeing tributes to her everywhere and Logopolis will be no different. The thing I've enjoyed most so far though is this 2005 Entertainment Weekly tribute to The Golden Girls -- though if you're gay like me, you know a lot of the stories -- for example, Elaine Strich read for Dorothy or Betty White and Rue McClanhan were originally supposed to audition for the roles of Blanche and Rose respectively -- though I'd never heard Arthur's response to that:

Ruuuue, I don't want to play Maude and Vivian meet Betty White.

which would only have been more TV classic if she'd said what she should have which was: "I don't want to play Maude and Vivian meet Sue Ann Nivens."

But the reason I'm posting that story is because it tells the tale of the (very rough working title for the show) which was inspired by a sketch done by Selma Diamond, which also was popular with TV critics at the time describing the show, "Miami Nice"

And, of course, that reminds me of this particular scene.  Though Betty White, as often, got the jokes, it's Bea's classic responses -- and the face this clip ends on -- that made the show more than just set-up, set-up, punchline.  It was often set-up, set-up, puncline, punch with the TKO delivered by Arthur herself.

If you didn't grow up singing this as a family, you...well, obviously werent gay with a gay brother.

L-A-M-B...More Like L-A-M-é

So I didn't know that Gavin Rossdale used to "date" a man.  Allegedly.

This is apparently old news.  Boy George apparently gabbed about it in the autobiography he wrote in the 90s. I can't believe everybody ignored that. I mean, it's not like any bitter, past-his-prime drug-addled faggot has ever lied about the sexual preference and/or activities of someone much, much hotter.  Oh, yeah, never mind...

But now the story has resurfaced because the alleged object of Rossdale's affection Marilyn -- the 80s rocker born Peter Robinson who had to work a heck of a lot harder than Jerrica Benton ever did to become Jem* in order to become his alter ego -- has changed his tune and is now backing up Boy George's story.

So like I said this is old news, and no offense to VH1, but if I'm scooped by Best Week Ever, I'm not exactly a well-oiled source of gossip. 

But Logopolis never promised you news you couldn't get in one hundred other locations (OR a rose garden), I've only promised you pop culture commentary.

So with that I ask you this question: If you're a former "wild child who wore black lipstick and partied until all hours at London’s underground clubs" as InTouch has described Gavin and the rumored love of your life from that time is a gender bending rocker who looks like this:

Isn't it weird that you married a beautiful female rock star who still manages to look like a tranny?
Just saying.

(Yes, that's all the commentary I have: "Just saying.")

* The fact that I haven't seen the transformation of Jerrica to Jem way overdone as a drag number means that gay men my age obviously have way too many ways to creatively express themselves, which I suppose is a good thing but is making me kind of sad today.

Attention How I Met Your Mother Fans, Dirty Joke Afficianados, and Those Who Want To Know The Difference Between Peanut Butter and Jam

Last night on How I Met Your Mother, Barney told Lily a joke that was so dirty, she wouldn't hang out with him for four weeks... which was a really clever way of getting pregnant Alyson Hannigan out of the picture because she was really showing (she's already had her baby here in the real world) and though it wasn't THAT obvious in her face (okay, yes it was but I don't want to seem like some sort of body image Nazi), she can only sit at the table in the bar or hold basketballs or trays of orange slices in front of her big belly so many times. 

(This apparently isn't an issue for the also pregnant Cobie Smulders, whom they must have thought was going to be showing less when writing these episodes because flowing tops be damned, she's also still pretty obviously pregnant, even she had Ted's assistant on top of her.)

So the offending joke Barney told was "What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"

A possible answer, according to a quick Google search is below and censored for those with delicate sensibilities...which I am actually doing as another level of humor because seriously, what are you doing reading this site then... Highlight it if you need to read it:

"I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass

Which I actually find pretty funny.

Update: If you came here on a Google search to find the answer to this joke, as many people do, please support my site by clicking on an ad below that may interest you. Post continues below.

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But the joke works much better in its original form "What's the difference between jam and jelly?" or it's British/Paddington Bear fan version "What's the difference between jam and marmalade?"

See, there's lots of differences between peanut butter and jam, but... okay, despite what PunkAndy may believe, explaining jokes DOES NOT make them funnier, and this is also true when explaining how jokes can be improved.

Dear Live Nation, re: NKOTB:

Just because I have bought tickets to Kelly Clarkson does not mean I like all things that all teenagers have ever liked EVER.  As the kids on the Internet might have said last year, New Kids on the Block pre-sale information = Do. Not. Want.

 

Soap Opera Brain Dump

The days of my life have been pretty restless, and I'm not young enough to keep up with all my children anymore(children being the crappy things in your life that you love anyway)  because I've only got one life to live and if I'm not careful I'm going to end up in general hospital again.  So I've been light in the Logopolis posting this week.

But I've been inspired to write again because my activities last night loop back into IJMSSMO posts I've been making on other's blogs.

My inspiration:  Chicago's own soap opera The Ville is back with a new episode at Mary's Attics Mondays this month.  After the outstanding musical holiday season finale last year, I was worried that it wouldn't be able to top itself.  And while I miss the brilliant songs of Jeff Bouthiette's brilliant songs, this year's debut was filled with emotional wallops that feel like a punch to the gut (I truly gasped at one point) and lots of laughs as well.  The fallout from Terrance's death in Japan after the birth of his child with Greg and what that does to the expectations on birth mother Lainey and her girlfriend Liz was obviously going to be wrenching but unexpected plot turns and the excellent performances from those left behind hit me hard.  I'm not too proud to admit that at certain points I was weeping... which I'd be embarrassed enough to do in a "real" theater, but in a bar I felt even more exposed... and it went from "oh I've got something in my eye" to "trying hard not to sob and convulse" (and it's nice to have a boyfriend who will hold you when you're crying, but then you realize he's just burying his face in your back so he can hide that he's crying too; crying is contagious like yawning, especially when you've had a couple stiff drinks.)  So "traditionally manly" I was not. But it was that good. Characters you care about going through crap you can't imagine and reacting the way you expect based on past characterization -- classic soap opera.

Speaking of classic soap operas, as a fan of the genre, I was sad to hear that Guiding Light is getting extinguished in September after many, many years, though since I'm more accurately a former fan of the daytime aspect of the genre, I'm part of the problem.   Mel had a fantastic post on this, which caused me to fill up her comments with my own thoughts on this dying breed, including a new addiction from across the pond that isn't EastEnders:

As you may or may not remember, Guiding Light was one of the few soaps that existed since the mid-80s never made my regular rotation. (As The World Turns is the other...) It was one that my mom watched sometimes at the flower shop when I was MUCH younger, but I never paid it much attention.

But as I write this, I am totally remembering that I DID watch Guiding Light regularly at some point when I lived in Chicago and was either working at home or straight up unemployed. It's on at 9 AM here, and that's such a TV deadzone that it was pretty easy to get hooked on... especially if I remember correctly it was the time with the ridiculous (as in "ridiculously AWESOME") plots on San Cristobel around the turn of the century (2000, that is) when Reva had been a Princess, yada, yada...

Oh yeah, I also watched it some when they cloned Reva because, well, I'm a sucker for crazy.

And when it went to its freaky hand-held camera cinema verite style -- with the real life locations and the "reality tv" look, I recorded a few episodes just to see what it looked like because I really like the idea of somebody doing something new in an attempt to save the genre.

But I can see why it didn't work. Like newspapers, soaps probably needed to change with the time to have had any chance to stay successful, but they (a) usually did the wrong things to stay "hip" and (b) had any sort of continuing success precisely because they didn't change -- it's like comfort food for those who watch them every day and for those who only check in when they're home with the flu.

Still though, I wish the show would stay on the air. Maybe they should just take it back to its radio roots and do 15 minutes podcasts episodes. (Hey, look, Mike just invented his own dream job.)

* * * * *

The saddest thing about the genre dying is that, like I hinted at earlier, other than occasional brilliance from Y&R and One Life to Live, most of the other shows may not actually deserve to live except for their great histories. Four years back, I was hooked on All My Children but it has become a mess like GH. And don't even get my started about John and Marlena leaving Days... even though I'm sure I wouldn't care about their plot if I was still watching it, Days without Deidre Hall is not a Salem USA I'm interested in.

But if you want to get a crazy classic soap fix with a slightly modern twist -- and you regularly listen to podcasts -- let me suggest the BBC's The Archers... a radio soap which you can get daily for free through iTunes. It's about farming and British country folk and at first seems as dull as you can get... but I checked it out because I'm an anglophile and I'd heard about it for so many years (it been around since after WWII and was used, in part, to promote stuff like rationing and other government propaganda -- the history alone is fascinating) Anyway, you wouldn't think a soap about pig farmers and the women who love them and the class struggles of small town Britain -- would be so compelling. But it is. It's totally what I imagine old radio soaps used to be but about the 2009 financial crisis.

It might just be a fascinating cultural artifact because I'm from the US -- sort of like the other soap I got hooked on when I was unemployed in the early 2000s -- the twice daily reruns of Ryan's Hope on Soapnet which taught you more about the seventies we grew up in than any history books.