Logopolis

When a Problem Comes Along.... My "Whip It" Review/Test

To determine if you should the new roller derby riot grrrl (do the kids still say that?) film Whip It take the following test:

Section A - True or False Answer the following True or False questions
Answer	Question	Explanation to Relevance
T F	I like Ellen Page.	Not the character Juno or the version of Kitty Pryde who broke up Ice Man and Rogue in X Men 3, but the actress who, though having worked with both Diablo Cody or Brett Ratner and should be blamed for neither's failure as artists or human beings
T F	I enjoyed the A&E reality series Rollergirls.	This is basically the fictionalized tale of that program with Page playing a small town Texas alternachick forced to compete against the rich kids iin beauty pageants by her postal carrier mom until she discovers roller derby on a shopping trip to Austin and realizes this is her destiny. Like Rollergirls, Whip It tells the tale of the TXRD League and the bad ass women within.
T F	I like Kristen Wiig	She, as the Mama Bear who takes our heroine under her stakes/wing is the best non-Ellen Page thing about Whip It. She should be in every indie comedy (though lately it seems like she is)
T F	You really wanted to see this movie, but really couldn't accept the idea that Drew Barrymore was supposed to be the same age as Ellen Page.	This is entirely not true, and the idea that Page is younger than her roller derby compatriots is not only mentioned but a crucial element to the plot.

If you answered true to at least two of these questions, you should definitely see it. If not, continue.

Section B Answer the following with yes or no.
Answer	Question
Y N	Have you ever bought used clothes at a store that also sells pot paraphanelia?
Y N	Would this cause your mother not to pay for these clothes on either a moral stand or because the hipsters behind the counter laughed at her?
Y N	Do you like Alia Shawkat and/or ever wonder what she looks like with freckles? With her playing Page's best friend, this means Page has been the lead in movies where she's been coupled with both of the young Bluth cousins from Arrested Development. However, Page and Shawkat have far more sexual chemistry than Cera did with her in Juno, and even though their characters aren't lesbians, their closeness (and the freckles) are still a plot point which leads to the most awesomely satisfying (if morally questionable) hip check in film history.
Y N	Do you like to hate Juliette Lewis? She makes a wonderfully hateable bully in the best sports movie tradition.
Y N	Do you like it when film locations seem real? Because although Barrymore in her directorial debut makes some questionable editing choices (as witnessed by the outtakes in the closing credits they kept me asking "Why didn't we see that?" and also made me sometimes wish that a more experienced director has been behind the camera to make the scenes around the derby track more exciting, the places feel authentic -- and not just because the warehouse was the same place Rollergirls competed and much of the movie looks like it was sponsored by the Austin Chamber of Commerce and Tourism Board. The houses are clutters in a real way and the house parties and bar are awkwardly spaced like real life. Kudos to the set dresser and designer and whoever else makes such things happen.
Y N	Do you like montages set to music? Because Whip It has both an inspirational sports training montage AND a falling in love montage that, though cliched, were really great and are a credit to Barrymore's directing style.

If you answered yes to 3 of more of the questions in Section B, you should see Whip It.

Section C - Written Essay Summation

Whip It plays most of the notes you'd expecte a coming of age/sports team comedy to play but they are arranged in an entertaining way, and though most everything turns out the way you expect it might, it gets there in some unique ways. For example, like the real roller derby, this movie isn't so much about gender, romance, love, and sexuality but being post-sexual^TM(courtesy of Julie Keck). The love story plot is satisfying in both its execution and conclusion (though , in hindsight, I fear a scene set in a pool while cheekily effective may lead to a bunch of drownings because of its total impossibility to actually recreate without gills.)

I'm not sure this movie will have a lot of crossover appeal. But if you saw the long trailer and thought you might like it, see it. It does what it advertises without disappointment.

Another Review I Meant To Write Earlier: The Ville (Again)

After a couple of months of missing it, I saw Andersonville's soap-opera-on-stage The Ville two weeks ago and if you're local, you should check it out again. Still mixing the comedy and drama skillfully, the storylines have moved on, the cast is slightly different, but it's still a tight 90 minutes or so of good entertainment. Today's the last night to see this month's episode and if you get a chance.  The gay domestic violence plot is melodramtic in the best sense of the word -- no, not full of false pathos and sentiment but appealing to emotion and sentiment to tell an important story like the best plot of a soap opera that would end with a PSA at the end.  If you've ever fought too much or too hard with someone you love, it will break your heart again.  Check it out.

The Ville previously on Logopolis:

• Soap Opera Brain Dump (7 April 2009)
• !!! Highest Logopolis Recommendation: Bare Boned Theatre's The Ville (15 December 2009)

Fame: New Remake Won't Live Forever, but People Won't See It and Cry

Baby look at me

Unlike most of America, if the box office results are anything to go by, I was excited to see the remake of Fame. The difference between now and when the original was made is that the very title is where the interesting conflict could arise in a remake. More than ever, we live in a world where one can be incredibly famous without any discernible talent. Whether you have the last name of Kardashian or can pop out an inexplicable number of womb rats, you can be famous just for being you -- as long as you is trashy or fertile or tragic or some combination of the above.

And tell me what you see

But not all reality shows and other celebrity factories are run by tabloid stars. So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway,  and sometimes American Idol show us talented folks doing interesting things and occasionally having dramatic moments, so it's only logical that in a world of these programs' successes and the High School Musical juggernaut that Fame would get remade.

You ain't seen the best of me yet

And there in lies the remake's biggest problem. It's cotton candy fluff from a world where Adam Lambert is thought to be overflowing with sex and the Jonas Brothers are considered purity-ring wearing hunks. Asher Brook is pretty to look at, but so is a Ken doll. The male dancers were suitably built, except for the one who is not supposed to be and can't properly lift, and even he managed to fill it out before they *spoler alert* sent him back to gay exile in Iowa. But despite these attempts, the whole thing felt neutered. There was certainly no Leroy. Granted, this also means that none of the high school students look 40, but it's just as unbelievable to have a sexless world full of attractive high school students.  It's a PG rated remake of an R rated movie in an NC-17 world.

Give me time I'll make you forget the rest

The film opens with a replay of Debbie Allen's "You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying - in sweat" speech (from the TV show, but it's such a looming part of the cultural memory of the franchise, you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise) over the title lighting up the sky like a flame (Fame), but other than the inclusion of Allen as the principal and the structure (from audition to graduation, the movie is divided by Freshman through Senior year), this is the only real attempt to shamelessly capitalize on the original 

I got more in me.

Still, Fame 2009 is movie certainly made by someone who loved the first go-round, even if only one song remains (besides the title track, which plays over the end credits).  There's a cafeteria jam scene early on that I found thrilling, but it's still no "Hot Lunch Jam. There's a trashy casting couch scene, but it's certainly not Coco convinced to take off her top.  There's a huge performance at graduation, but... There's a near suicide, but.... So there's a lot of similarities, but there's also a lot of "but...." 

And you can set it free

Beyond their voices and dancing abilities that brought them there, the kids are pretty forgettable. The face that  was most familiar to me, So You Think You Can Dance's Kherington Payne plays the uptown girl with dancing chops who seems to date a downtown guy mostly to piss off her parents. Unfortunately (maybe), this plot arc happens in about two scenes. Kherington is an amazing dancer and her music video routine crawling on top of other dancers is the closest thing the movie gets to "hot"; however, her acting ability ends with her smile, so it was probably best not to give her anymore talking than they already did.

I can catch the moon in my hands

Of course, most of the adults were fantastic -- though again, you could count most of their lines on your fingers and toes.  As principal, Allen speaks like the Lord on high, just like she does from the judges' table on So You Think You Can Dance. The movie avoids putting Kelsey Grammar and Bebe Neuwirth in a scene, so you're not forced have to think about them playing the couple that made them famous, but they are still basically playing the same characters. Frasier is a classical loving musical snob who has no time for improv or kids from the streets who don't care about Beethovan. Lilith is the cold bitch of a dance instructor who will break your heart and send you and your tragic shoes to consider jumping in front of a subway.

Don't you know who I am

The closest thing to an authentically moving scene comes from the other Must See TV veteran, Megan Mullally, as the vocal teacher miles away from Karen Walker, who, after taking her class out to a karaoke bar and then surprising them with her own abilities, is forced to explain that she used to pound the pavement looking for work just like they will so do did but eventually grew tired and gave it up, but she still goes to Broadway shows and thinks "I could do that." It's an obviously conversation, but Mullally nails it, and even the kids raise their game by reacting with just the right look of sympathy at her story  and terror that they are heading down the same path.

Remember my name

Despite all of my complaints, I recommend the remake. It's as good or better than most of the similarly themed "kids in the arts" movies that have come out in the last decade. I'm sure there's an audience out there for it  with kids today. Even though the title is Fame, it's stressed throughout that celebrity should not be the desired end result for these talented kids, and that they should work on honing their gifts and not their headshots and OK Magazine. That alone makes it a worthwhile venture for kids today in my book. And if it inspires them to see the original, all the better.

Why I Love The Internet #314789

When reading a lengthy post in Metafilter, which was inspired by Kirk Cameron's latest assault on Creationism, the conversation managed to contain both intelligent conversation about Christianity AND Boner's real name (Richard Milhaus "Boner" Stabone), which led me to a Wikipedia article on Growing Pains, which led to this table of the international names of the show:

Country	Name	Literal translation
China	成长的烦恼 (Chéngzhǎng de Fánnǎo)	The Frustrations of Growing Up
Taiwan	歡樂家庭 (Huānlè Jiātíng)	Happy Family
France	Quoi de neuf docteur?	What is new doctor? or What's up doc?
Germany	Unser lautes Heim	Our loud home
Italy	Genitori in blue jeans	Parents in blue jeans
Japan	愉快なシーバー家 (Yukai na Seava (Seaver) Ke)	Happy Seaver's family
Latin America	Ay! Cómo duele crecer	Ouch! How painful is growing up
Poland	Dzieciaki, kłopoty i my	Our kids, trouble and us
Spain	Los Problemas Crecen	The Problems grow
Sweden	Pappa vet bäst	Dad knows best

If you ask nicely, I will sing the Japanese theme song based on this title that I have just written and am now singing out loud over and over again.

About Mackenzie Phillip's Revelations on Oprah, I Told You So

No, not the BIG one.

The one where she talks about the One Day at a Time reunion from the Today show last year, and she admits that, at the time, she was totally riding the white horse.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

That's heroin for those of you whose drug lingo isn't older than me.

I totally said to PunkAndy at the time that she was back on the stuff again.  He agreed with me.

Granted we were probably high too.

Just kidding; we weren't... though if there was ever a case of "takes one to know one", we would be it.

(BTW, confessing previous illicit drug use and how I've conquered said self-abuse in public does not mean that I am currently having or previously had incestuous relations with my family. See, Mackenzie, there's such a thing as levels of rock bottom and you don't have to win the contest EVERY TIME. Just saying.)

In all seriousness, I hope Julie Cooper continues to get the help she needs.

links for 2009-09-16

• Dessine moi un objet » Blog Archive » Iphone and Itouch paper stand / dock
  Pretty sweet cardboard dock if you have a cord...which I do..when it works
  (tags: iPhone diy ipod apple pdf paper design free)

The Time Of Your Life At The Touch of a Button

It's a sad day for Dirty Dancing fans everywhere, wrote my sister in a text message last night, and I agree.

Fortunately the voices of Johnny and Baby exist for her at the end of her keys with this delightful key chain, which though was just supposed to be a stocking stuffer, ended up being one of the most popular gifts Andy and I exchanged with my family last year (once we finally decided to give it up and not keep it for ourselves)

The six buttons give you such classics as

• I can't even do the meringue!
• I carried a watermelon.^₁
• The steps aren't enough - feel the music.
• You're invading my dance space.
• Go back to your playpen, Baby! ²

And of course

• Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

¹ My favorite

² This one isn't actually Johnny or Baby, but Penny when she was and the delivery is awesome because it should more accurately be quoted as "Go back to your playpen (HUGE dramatic pause) Baby (with the "B's" stressed and spit perfectly.

He's like the wind

I got this message tonight and it made me sadder than it should

From: CelebrityDeathBeeper.com
Date: September 14, 2009 7:27:03 PM CDT
To: [email protected]
Subject: A celebrity death!

A celebrity death?

PUBLICIST: PATRICK SWAYZE DIES AT 57

http://deathbeeper.com/2973941.html

Thank all 22,921 of you for using http://CelebrityDeathBeeper.com

Why unsubscribe?

Yes, why would I when I can get news like this so quickly.

For PunkAndy...who I miss more than I imagined

If two men could have a baby and then have it turned into a YouTube video, I'm wonderfully afraid this would be ours.

The first half or so is so absolutely wonderful that I thought about not posting it because it seemed like I'd be wasting a pretty good idea for a proposal. The second half gets crazy, but the Matt Smith mocking at the end seals the deal.

Remember Dates

I've always liked to play with numbers, though not strictly in a mathematical sort of way.  I liked to multiply numbers together on a calculator until it went from 10E99 to error out with EEE or whatever error message it returned.  I liked to try to divide two large random numbers and hope I got an even result. I squared and square-rooted and tried to figure out what the x^y button meant even before I'd been taught the multiplication tables.

And whenever I look at two numbers, I try to figure out their simple relationships. I just always have. It's the way my brain is numbered.

So I always thought it was neat that my birthday was 12/12, especially since that was the largest multiplication table value that we had to memorize in the third grade.  And I thought it was neat that my mom's birthday was 4/16 and that my dad's was 2/1 as if this meant they belonged together in a multiplying/squaring away.  (Yes, I know that 1*1 doesn't equal 2, but I've always played with numbers in a liberal artsy sort of way.)

And my brother's birth date - 7/8/78 -- was the neatest of all.

So my poor sister had the only birthday in the family that there wasn't some reason to easily remember.  Until she turned twenty-one.  On September 11. 

Now, as they saying goes, we'll never forget.

Happy birthday Molly!