That's how I felt leaving The Boys are Back, the new movie starring Clive Owen as a widower raising his six year old son and re-acquainting himself with his teenage son from a previous marriage. On one hand, it was a well acted (Owen is great and the kid actors are so believable you are almost certain someone's mom was murdered or someone's dad left him as a kid just to get the performances) with well written scenes (the part from the trailer where the six year old asks if his half-brother will like him is even better in the movie) and beautiful cinematography of southern Australia etc. etc.
On the other hand, even though it works through this tragic story in a somewhat believable way, I left feeling, to quote an overused Internet meme and favorite Lisa Simpson comeback:
Meh.
Maybe it's because the inspired-by-a-true-story story took a lot of dramatic twists that felt a little fake yet I excused them because they were probably the actual moments that were true. And didn't really care. Also, there were a number of creative licenses, including *spoiler alert* the conversations with dead wife who appeared on the screen as if she was there until she was not. The first time this happened I wanted to punch the screen and yell "Come on, don't do that!" But by the end, I felt it was justified by the way it had all unfolded. But that's all it was -- justified by structure. They earned it from a coldly critical perspective. But certainly not emotionally. It's like the movie was a well put together gown on Project Runway but I was Nina Garcia down in the judge's row thinking, "God, I sure can see the seams."
I went along with the ride. I laughed at the right parts. I sighed sadly at the right parts. But I never guffawed. And I never wept. If a movie's sole existence is based on pulling your heart strings, but it only plucks, never tugs, I don't think it's a success.
And it's a freaking true story with Clive Owen and a six year old boy acting their freaking hearts out regarding the death of their wife/mother. And I was left judging the performances. And cold.
(seriously, a hot loving man continually calls his young son "sweetheart" and I was barely moved...either my heart is dying or this movie didn't quite work... I think it's the latter... at least I hope)
