Logopolis

Dream a Little (Somewhat Terrifying) Dream

Here's a conversation that happened today:

(work phone rings)

LogopolisMike: Hello, Mike McNamara
PunkAndy: Am I awake?
LogopolisMike: (knowing the answer since I'd just talked to him a few minutes earlier)  Yes.
PunkAndy: So I'm not dreaming?
LogopolisMike: (only slightly worried, sensing their was a punchline coming)  No.
PunkAndy: Okay, because I thought I might be.
LogopolisMike: Why?
PunkAndy: Because I walked into the bedroom and the TV was on and French Stewart is on Days of Our Lives and I don't know what's happening.

Now my dear Andy is much bigger Third Rock from the Sun fan (at least a little) than he's ever been a Days-watcher.  But I realized that this would be a weird turn for anyone.  So I did a quick Google search (made all the quicker by Google Instant) and found this:

When Days of Our Lives needed someone to play the funeral director at a pet cemetery, they handed the part to French Stewart. The former 3rd Rock From the Sun funnyman will appear on the NBC soap September 27 and 29 in scenes involving Brady (Eric Martsolf) and the theft of his mom's remains.

See, it turns out that somebody's stolen Brady's mom's Isabella's remains.  And for some reason he goes to a pet cemetery to dig up an orangutan to find them.

Isabella has been dead for 15 years....actually more... and it was actually one of Days few "so touching so we won't bring them back from the dead" deaths so God knows what this storyline is about.  (And it's not like Isabella's ghost hasn't shown up many, many times over the years to give advice, help with exorcisms, etc. 

But yes, Andy, that was French Stewart squinting in Salem today.  And if you happened to hear him talking about the remains of a orangutan... that was real too.

links for 2010-09-28

• Writing: Find the Time or Don’t
  aka quit your bitching. Okay not really. It's actually quite inspiring. Like a good slap should be.
  (tags: writing tips scalzi time)

links for 2010-09-27

• mallory's clothes
  (tags: familyties tumblr fashion humor popculture retro tv ViaMetafilter)
• Mallory shops, therefore she is. | MetaFilter
  The MetaFilter thread from which I found "mallory's clothes" -- which discusses the worthiness of the project from all perspectives (my opinion = yes, obviously) as well as links to Justine Bateman's reaction. "As per the Tumblr description, a comprehensive rundown, in chronological order, of Mallory Keaton's outfits from the series Family Ties (1982-1989). Found by Matthew Perpetua (behind the Fluxblog mp3 blog), then also discovered by Justine Bateman herself. "
  (tags: metafilter)
• Meet Mazlan Othman, the United Nations ambassador to extraterrestrials
  "The United Nations has appointed Earth's ambassador should aliens touch down in the near future. Their selection? Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Othman, who heads the UN's Office for Outer Space Affairs. Othman will discuss her duties in Buckinghamshire, England next week." On one hand, I can see why commenters online would mock this, and there is a lot of joke potential. On the other hand, to not have this position is to assume we are alone in the universe, and I really think that's one of those things that is (a) wrong, and (b) sending a bad message. Though some might view it as waste, I think that every thing we can do to remind everyone on Earth that we all share the same planet (which should be one of the main bits in the mission statement of the UN) is a good idea.
  (tags: alien awesome UnitedNations MazlanOthman Malaysian io9)

Al Roker is Very Wise (Katy Perry, Elmo, and I'll Give You Something to Complain About)

No, really.

So the crew on the Today show was commenting on Katy Perry's video with Elmo that apparently won't be shown on Sesame Street because of outrage that it was too racy.

 It's totally not.  And Today agreed.  Matt Lauer said he was wishy-washy in that he originally saw their point but now thinks its ridiculous. The only argument that can be even possibly be made is that Perry's outfit shows too much cleavage, and as Anne Curry (who I expect to be wise) said "Kids have seen those before."

But after a comment that basically said "People just like to manufacture outrage" -- which is something I fully support the media as often as possible -- Al Roker pointed out that it didn't matter anyway because "Katy Perry is a cartoon character already."

I see more skin like that at any Wal-Mart back home in much less appealing but more sexual ways. And I won't say you can't have a problem with that. but there's a not-very-fine-line when telling a woman who isn't dressing proactively that she is demeaning and misogynistic. 

I guess if you're going to teach kids to be shamed about anything remotely sexual, you've got to start early. But don't these proud Americans realize how much they sound like their dreaded Taliban when they start insisting women be overly modest.

But I might be over-reaching. Meredith is probably onto something when she says that people are looking for a fight. So let me give them one.   Bank of America is heavily promoting the fact that you can deposit money in their ATMs without a deposit slip or even an envelope - just put the money in and it will count it and add it to your account.  Anyway, in the commercial, when people are rattling off their deposit amounts, one man -- who doesn't look like a drug dealer but you never know - says he's putting in 4 20s.  Do we really want to send this pro-pot message to our kids? Should drug users really have convenient banking? Enough is enough, BoA.

(Please feel free to not get this joke.)

A Good Man is Man to Find...A Call To Arms...Or At Least Lats.

So I came home tonight to this Newsweek cover in my mailbox.

(I'm not sure why I get Newsweek in the mail; I think it's because, back one time when I thought I had disposable income, I gave some if it to NPR.)

Despite what you may think of me, I'm always responsive to a call to Man Up! (no. seriously); however,  I was taken aback by this cove (for reasons that you can skip to the end to discover)  and the article within (which you can discover immediately below).

I would respond to the article, but during my search for the cover image, I discovered the Atlantic Wire already had said all I would need. Upon seeing the subtitle "The Traditional Male is an Endangered Species", I knew that this cover and article would be somewhat in response to Hanna Rosen's pretty brilliant piece "The End of Men" which was published in the Atlantic earlier this year.  Despite it's maybe-off-putting and certainly-hyperbolic headline, it talks, at length and without offensiveness from any angle, what it might mean that women of a certain class/education level are definitely more college educated than their male counterparts and certainly soon-to-be making more money,  It's just great, and even though I primarily  know her from her work with Slate, Rosin's article has convinced me that once the aforementioned disposable income stops being a problem, I should pay for a subscription to the Atlantic.

(Full disclosure time: despite my being a practicing homosexual and Rosen being, I think, the married mother of at least two children (one of both genders at least...not that I'm stalking), I'm over-the-top crazy about her -- at least her article-writing, podcast-hosting persona, so I may be too biased for critical commentary.)

Anyway, I was all ready to defend Rosin's original article and point out the flaws in this one but the Atlantic Wire's post captures blog postings that pretty much say what I'd have to say -- that there are points that are worthy of discussion but some miss the mark -- but much better. So read it. 

(I'm afraid that this particular blog post DOES NOT meet my self-imposed rule that I should create as much as I consume media-wise. Pointers don't count. But still, read it. Despite my personal failure.)

The only extra comment I have to make is regards to the cover.  If that's how we define masculinity, then... Okay, maybe the baby face is actually a little disturbing.  But let's imagine it's not there.

If masculinity is best represented by the above, I can safely say, though it may change, it's in no danger of going anywhere. I promise. At least not while me and mine are around.

(I realize that even the child may not disqualify him for everyone; in fact, holding the child isn't a dealbreaker at all for me. It's just the sad, confused face. If I'm going to be promoting masculinity, no matter how hot the image, his son is going to be way happier than that.  Like this:

Much better.)

Attention How I Met Your Mother Fans (again) re: Entymology

So one of the most frequent search queries that brings people to Logopolis is to this post about How I Met Your Mother regarding a dirty joke that's answer wasn't given.  I also have many people visiting weekly looking for the non-existent Chicago Pizza Explosion that Liz Lemon mentioned on 30 Rock.  So in the interest of making this site more service-y, there was no Sir Walter Dibs.

In fact, the definition of dibs is:

children's word to express a claim on something, 1932, originally U.S., apparently a contraction of dibstone "a knucklebone or jack in a children's game" (1690s), of unknown origin.

So, if you want, you want to be more technical, please call 'dibstones' form here on out.  Especially if a time eddy sweeps in and sends you back to the 17th century and end up playing a children's game.  But of course, if that happens, they'll probably think you're a witch.  So you'll have other things to worry about.

See also this Wikipedia article on dibs (aka "Bags/Bagsy, shotgun, shotty, gun and other variants") around the world -- including how it translates around the world.

You're Not Here; I Don't Care

Sorry I haven't caught up with the remainder of my Fall TV reviewing.  Last week I hadn't paid my Typepad bill, and once I did, I've been too busy.  But I have lots to say on Thursday-Sunday and comments on the season so far (Gossip Girl review!), so I'll get to that later.

Since this is a blog that, by definition, is about overthinking pop culture, I had to put together my thoughts on Casey Affleck's "admission" (which implies there's someone being fooled) that his documentary 'I'm Not There' and the "downward spiral" of Joaquin Phoenix was a hoax/joke/act/whatever.

My thought is this:

The box office must be really bad for them to have admitted it so soon.

That's all I'm going to say.

Just kidding.

So let's just assume that the hoax is part of a commentary on celebrity culture's depraved indifference to, if not encouragement of, the destruction of real life human beings. A fuck you to fame.

Though I've found both men talented in the past, the fact that both came to fame mostly because they were the younger brothers of better known siblings and the marketability of the "sibling story" as a Hollywood celebrity building block... well, hypocritical isn't at all the word... but it is interesting.

Because of that, I'd just be much more interested in seeing what they have to say about the fame machine itself and the true way that it's affected their lives more than I want to see them put on dog-and-pony sideshow where saying "fuck you" to the fame machine that built them, especially when said show is the fake downward spiral tragedy of the brother whose real brother died tragically.

Maybe I'm not artistic enough. But I don't think that's it.

But even if it's more complicated than a "fuck you" but instead they're holding a mirror up to the world, as if to say, "This is what you want, this is why you keep watching Access Hollywood despite your disgust at what the paparazzi do to people, this is your creation"; well, if that's it, it was a failure.  Here's why:

It didn't work.

Phoenix and Affleck, despite their potentially A-list celebrity credentials, aren't famous in the sort of slimeball infotainment way couldn't fake it because, despite us living in a TMZ/Perez Hilton/Access Hollywood world, celebrity and fame are as much of a construct as they were back when the studio system tried to tell the world Rock Hudson was gay. Even train wrecks, if not actually staged, are created by the system.

You can get away with the stunts that Phoenix pulls in the movie (drugs, hookers, even weirdness involving other celebrities who aren't in on the joke) and not have them be front page news, which is why this failed. When Phoenix did weird shit on Letterman, it was something but the rest of the time he was off the radar and since he wasn't even considered back page worthy celebrity when he wasn't part of the machine. So because the train wreck wasn't shown except in the movie, it doesn't become something we can be "blamed for" as "entertainment we asked for" -- because nobody paid attention.

In fact, it's the opposite. Nobody paid it any attention, so they had to announce the punchline/moral of the story/truthiness truth on a conveniently timed Thursday announcement so there would be something for the entertainment press report right before the all-important weekend box office. (Looking at the box office, it seems pretty clear that if it didn't go up, it would start disappearing from even the largest of markets -- there only so many small screens out there.)

In other words, the behind the scenes games the makers of the movies are playing is more interesting than the games in front of the camera.

That's a story I'd be interesting in hearing.

Netflix Weekend Recommendation: The Career of Harold Gould (plus Golden Girls turns Silver)

I was saddened to learn this morning that Harold Gould had died this weekend

You may know who that is, but you'll recognized his face.

He's probably best known as playing Rhoda's father Martin on Rhoda and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. You also know him as the go-to Jewish character actor, which is saying something knowing just how many Jewish character actors there are.  He was also Rose's on-and-off paramour Miles on The Golden Girls.¹

But I'm best remembering him lately as Barney Gerber, Jody's hospital roommate from the first season of Soap. For those unfamiliar (who have not yet taken my last Netflix Weekend Recommendation), Jody was in the hospital to get a sex change operation, not necessarily because he wanted to be a woman but so that he could be with his pro football playing lover Dennis.² Despite the ridiculousness of its origin, the relationship between Jody and Barney is quite touching, especially as Barney realizes that the 'fagela' is far and away the sanest member of the Campbell/Tate clan, and when Jody gets dumped and tries to kill himself, Barney's reactions sell the drama and the comedy.³

Take a look at Gould' s' television credits on Wikipedia -- from Hazel to Nip/Tuck and just about everything in between.  I hope he was as happy working as he was working often.  He had plenty of film and stage credits, so along with Soap, I'll recommend The Sting, not necessarily for his part in it, but because it's a great movie that he makes greater.     And he was the type of guy who made things better because he was in them -- not just "Hey it's that guy!" but a "Yay, it's that guy!"

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1 Speaking of, this week is the 25th anniversary of the premiere of the Golden Girls.  Doing a search on it, I discovered this 25th Anniversary Golden Girls  DVD box set, complete with purse.

Awesome, right? If anything, the purse is too classy but it's a far better idea than a cheesecake box; I'll see you on the linai.

²  It's just as off-the-mark and offensive and unrealistic as it sounds -- though to be honest, if you watched All My Children's "daytime first" gay wedding last year which was marred when Biana's wife-to-be Reese kissed Zach on her wedding day because she was confused about her sexuality or something that was never really explored at all... well, it just seems that botching same-sex relationships was just a bit of soap opera parody that Susan Harris was doing ahead of its time.

³ As does Billy Crystal.  While the character of Jody may have been problematic, at best, Crystal's acting is really something, and if you only remember him as a City Slickers-doing, Oscar-hosting stuff, Soap really reminds me that the reason it's okay that he's the perennial Oscar host fave because despite his silly songs, he's actually an actor.

I'm Not Joking About This

This made me very sad yesterday.

Rich Cronin, lead member of LFO pop trio, dies of leukemia at 36.

"Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so..."

Logopolis Fall TV Spectactular - Wednesday

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Wednesday's Spotlight

My interest in Undercovers should be no surprise; given my love of Alias, a spy series advertised as "from J.J. Abrams" is something that's going to intrigue me.  But to go back to my earlier point yesterday in regards to Will Arnett, how short a memory we all have.  Because though Alias was a critical darling and especially me and mine had a torrid love affair with it it wasn't really that popular.  It got lots of love from pop culture outlets, but ratings not so much.  Yet the way it's being advertised, you'd think it was some sort of blockbuster.¹ 

I do not understand television.

Anyway, ever since I saw the ad for Undercovers this summer, I've been looking forward to it despite the fact it's on NBC. With any luck, they will have learned their lesson and if it's any good might let it have time to grow an audience, especially given it's up against Survivor, and if it remains in this slot, eventually American Idol. 

However, I'm also dreading that it might become popular and then we will be bombarded with "Espionage in the Age of the Obamas" culture pieces.  So I'm telling you, media journalists, if you came to this site on a Google search, wondering if this has been done already, even if it hasn't, it's a tired idea.  The leads are an attractive black couple. That's it.  The fact that it is new is, unlike the presidency, something we should only celebrate/discuss when it's NOT news.

Anyway, as for the show itself, on one hand, it's J.J. Abrams return to directing for television.  You may remember him from directing the pilots of Lost and Alias, pretty much two of the best pilots ever. What's Undercovers going to be like?  Well, not serialized.  In fact, Time's James Poniewozik sums up the show this way:

Remember the first five minutes of all those episodes of Abrams' Alias, where Sydney Bristow and Dixon would have to infiltrate a nightclub on Marrakesh or a Eurotrash dinner party in Stockholm and Sydney would sneak into a vault wearing a band-aid miniskirt and a purple wig while Dixon talked to Marshall on a radio hookup? Did you ever think, "Alias would be so much better if the show was entirely about these first five minutes, plus maybe if Sydney and Dixon were married, minus SD-6 and The Alliance and pretty much any serial element of the story?

See, Poniewozik was setting this up as a negative comment. (To be fair, he says it was a reasonable choice, just not his._  And I do consider myself as big a Rimbaldi geek as the next person who owns Alias episodes on DVD.  But though I wouldn't say I WAS a person who thought the show would be better if it was entirely like those first five minutes -- now that it's offered to me as a choice -- I can't say I'm NOT that person either.

The more I think about it, the more awesome it sounds.  Though it it stays too light, it might be like Chuck -- a show that I've never not enjoyed an episode but that I don't watch anymore.

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Other Wednesday Highlights

H-E-L-L-C-A-T-S. 

What's that spell? 

Apparently not $#*!-cats. 

(See CBS, adults can use adults language.²) 

Non-cheerleader tries out for the super-successful cheerleader squad on campus in order to get a scholarship.  Way to get on the Bring it On bandwagon, CW.  Ten years too late.  By stealing the plot of one of the faux-straight-to-video-and-or-ABC Family sequels.  But still. It's the CW, it's cheerleaders, and it's premiering tonight. So it gets a highlight call-out.  Check me out on Twitter to know what I think. When I get around to watching it.

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Modern Family is the obvious ABC comedy to like, what with its Emmys and all.  (And you know that's important to me, given my recommendation of Hellcats.) And I've sung it's praises before.³

Perhaps more surprising to you might be my call-outs for Cougar Town and The Middle.  You know, the one with a not-very-likable female brunette lead played by an actress better known for being in another more popular sitcom's ensemble which co-stars a bit player from Scrubs.  You know, that one.   Anyway, I'm sure I called The Middle "Malcolm in the Middle if I hated the mom actress's politics and public persona", just like I'm sure I called Cougar Town", "insulting for an actress of Courtney Cox's quality, and I didn't think that about Dirt."  However, unlike the political party that Patricia Heaton supports, I'll admit, I'm wrong sometimes.  Both shows make me laugh -- and not in a guilty pleasure way.

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Also New

Better than You, which as you can see above, is sitting non-yellow-ly recommended above with the other ABC sitcoms.  I'd like to say that it's because it hasn't been on and I haven't seen it, and while that may be true, the commercials are painful with a capital "that's why they call it window pane, oh yes Eminem just said that."   Or as my inner Hollywood Insider says:  'Better than You?  Most everything.'

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The Defenders is known to most people as the thing that lets us know that the long national nightmare of jokes about According to Jim still being on the air is finally over.  Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell star as wacky Vegas defense attorneys who are so wacky I kept looking for the unisex bathroom and the dancing baby and the short skirt.  See, what I mean here, is this show would have been considered great if we lived in a pre-Ally McBeal world.  But hey kids, we're not.

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The Whole Truth: Tea Leoni stars as a unlucky-in-love paparazzo who hopes that people will watch whatever crap is on between Friends and Seinfeld.  Oh wait, that's not what this is.  I've got nothing.  

Oh wait, now I remember... I remember the commercials! Jerry Bruckheimer! Courtrooms! Bam! Prosecutors! Defenders! Both sides, and only in the end if the truth revealed.  Also known as "Law and Order: Trial by Jury but by Jerry Bruckheimer so boom! boom! !!! Exclamation point!!! Boom!" And then, just when PTSD has started up, the commercial tells us that Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney star.  And God bless both of them, fine, fine actors.  But they aren't exactly !!! stars.

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¹ Yes, I realize that Abrams is responsible, in some way or another, for Lost and Fringe and a Mission Impossible and Cloverfield and... but (a) not really on about 2/3 of that, and (b) in as much as his attachment to something makes it important, those who care ALREADY know that.  Again, I'm bean-plating, but still, it bugs me.

² CBS, in response: "Yes, Mike, 'hell' and 'shit' are equivalent swear words. Thanks for your comment, from second grade"

³ In fact, I still swear that the Gold Digger episode is how comedy writing should be taught.  I've watched it time and time again to try to discover it's secret only to realize that comedy writing is something that can't be taught. As this blog continually proves.

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